Lillie Mae / “Constant”

This past week was one of the most trying times of my life. Full of interviews, Teacher Work Sampling and Placement, I spent my Spring Break in Chattanooga. It truly was a great week for us, although we were both incredibly stressed. I had an interview at my dream school on Thursday and while I was nervous, I knew that the Lord’s will would be done. The interview went well and Friday was spent dress shopping with a friend, hanging out at the house with Loman, his roomies, and the pups.  It was a PERFECT day in every sense of the word.

October 23, 2009 – April 1, 2011

Friday night, Lillie, our dog and love, was hit by a car and she didn’t make it. Little else has been so devastating in my life and neither Loman nor I have completely recovered from the experience. I’ll spare the details, mostly for my own sanity, but we were emotionally, spiritually, and physically tried that fateful night and while we both know that God surely has a plan, it doesn’t hurt any less. I took the above picture of Lillie Friday morning. She looks so angelic and I know that she is even more carefree now than she was here on earth. She was and forever will be one of the greatest joys in our lives together.

To say that this experience has humbled me would be a understatement. Loman and I had to rely on each other in a way that we never have before. Loman, who SWORE that he would never buy me flowers, had lilies [pictured above] for me when I returned from my initiation, and I was a basket case. 🙂 We were made stronger through this experience and continue to grow closer to one another and more importantly, we continue to grow in our faith.  At church on Sunday, we felt the Lord speaking to us as a couple in a way that He never has before. We were silent and listened patiently as the He took hold of our hearts, our pain, sorrow, and utter turmoil and showed us His divine will. That Sunday was life-changing for us and we have truly experience what we view as a perfect example of “worse” in the phrase “for better or for worse.”

All of this has also shown us the faithfulness and sincerity of people whom we treasure. I can’t express my how overwhelmed we have been by the love and encouragement of our family and friends [who might as well be family]. We are such a lucky couple to be blessed with people who care so deeply about us and hurt when we are hurting.  Jim and Jennifer bought us a lily plant which I can plant at my new apartment and will grow back every year. Lillie with be with us always. In our hearts. In our minds. In our lives. Interwoven into every piece of clothing and upholstery we own. She was our baby and always will be. 🙂

The song “Constant” by Charlie Hall has brought me so much peace and comfort through this time as I can feel the love of God and Lillie embrace my heart as I listen to it.

“Constant”

Just like the sunshine
You have been our light
Leading us into beautiful places
We’ve walked through fire
But You made us brighter
Leading us into beautiful places

Faithful Jesus, healing savior
Compass, center, bread of life
Faithful Jesus, cherished treasure
Our portion, wisdom God’s great light

Just like the starlight
You shine in the black night
Leading us into beautiful places
Just like the atmosphere
You’ve come to surround us here
Leading us into beautiful places

Faithful Jesus, healing savior
Compass, center, bread of life
Faithful Jesus, cherished treasure
Our portion, wisdom God’s great light

God You are here with us
Constantly here with us
You are our everything
Faithful and true

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Jennifer Williams says:

    I am still crying for you, reading this post. I lost a best friend, my bassett hound, in 2007… and I still miss her. I am sorry you suffered this loss in the midst of such good news about your future. Just know we both love you all and will continue to keep you in our prayers.

    Like

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